Success

Day 13 Theme: Success (Student led by Carys and Carter)

For Success we began the day with a homemade breakfast by Carys and Carter, because as everyone knows breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so to have a successful day, you should start with a good breakfast. During the meal they asked us the question: "If today was the most successful day of your life, what would it look like?" That was really hard for me to answer. It's still hard for me to answer. I think I began answering the question by saying I would get a really incredible job, maybe in graphic design for a international company, so I could travel. Or maybe choreographing dance pieces for different companies around the world. We then went out into the community and asked people around the neighborhood that same question. The first person we met was Thor Walker. He was sitting in Starbucks working on something and asked us if we wanted to sit down because we looked a little lost so we asked him, "If today was the most successful day of your life, what would it look like?" He answered with a lot of things that we had already talked about on the trip. Like love and giving empathy to people as the main points of life. After talking with him for a while it sounded like he's definitely already successful in the business world and has met high up business executives from all over the world. And we looked him up online later, I think he's the CEO of the French-American cultural center in New Jersey. He wanted our phone number so he could follow up on our research we collect about success. We think he was a little confused about what we were actually doing and seemed to believe we were doing a grad program study, so I left my email. The email he sent me was that he would like to see me again before I go back to Seattle and left his number. Not to make assumptions, but it sounded like he was much more interested in meeting with pretty young ladies than any research. I think it goes to show how we equate money with success, and success with some kind of power, that people with money are better than those without. There's a lot of people that we would automatically say no to giving out our contact info to, but if it's clear they're successful it makes it easier to do.

Next we asked these three hairdressers in a salon. The oldest one, who was the boss, the other two pointed to and said, "She's successful, ask her." She said that if today was the most successful day of her life she would get to bring anyone off the streets and give them a full makeover for free. She mentioned that changing the look of someone who can't afford it otherwise can do a world of difference for their self esteem and can give them happier lives. The other hairdresser was a guy who clearly had a lot of pain behind his words. He said if today was the most successful day of his life he would get to see his family, either go visit them or bring them to America. It sounds like he can't leave the country for a long time because of his immigration status, and his family can't move here because of the war.

The last guy we talked to was sitting on a bench and we had already walked by him a couple of times so we went up to him and I asked him the question. He paused for maybe three seconds and then said, "have a full time job, married, and kids". We thanked him for his time and answer, but he didn't say much else at all. Those two last answers that we got were the most profound to me. To not be able to see your family, to miss them that much, is unfathomable. I take for granted how I can see my family whenever I want. And the last man, we were discussing his answer together later. He knew so quickly what he wanted his life to look like. Which made it sound like he doesn't have a full time job or a wife or kids now. And based on his age, we weren't sure that he'd ever be able to have kids unless he married someone much younger. That's terrifyingly sad. To know what you want in life. To have a clear vision or dream, but to not be able to achieve it. I'm afraid that will be me. That I'll look back on my life and have all of these things I wish I had done, but for it to be too late.

Later in the day I was talking with a good friend, Olga, about if today was the most successful day. And I said something along the lines of, "you know, if I'm being really honest with myself, I think that if I met the love of my life, and could spend forever with him, that would be the most successful day". I had forgotten that I said that until she mentioned it again later in the day. I think that that holds true. That to be in love, life would be easier. I could do anything and be happy if I had someone to share it with.

Next we walked the Brooklyn Bridge, which was absolutely beautiful, and kind of stands for success in a way. Then we visited two people which we had met earlier on our trip, Sebastian, and his mom, Adriana. They own their own food company, Mi Casa Foods, and work really well together. One thing that Adriana said was that everyone has an inner child, and sometimes you gotta let it watch cartoons. I think having childlike joy is a part of life I never want to lose. We all get so serious the older we get. Sometimes it's okay to loosen up.

One thing I noticed when watching Sebastian and Adriana was their mother-son relationship. We've talked a lot about parents on this trip, and learning to let go of the goals parents put on us. But watching Sebastian and his mom, part of me feels like there is success with achieving the goals your parents put on you. Clearly having children and wanting them to grow up to be successful people is a huge part of life. For most parents that is the meaning of life. So there has to be some value in fulfilling that as a child. Watching how proud Adriana was of Sebastian, that he has continued the latin cuisine she taught him growing up, there's value in that. It makes me reconsider what we've talked about before. Maybe fulfilling the dreams parents have for you is what makes you successful in some way. It has to make you feel like you've achieved something worthwhile in your life. Sure following your own dreams is probably better, but there's something about achieving the dreams that someone you raised you has that's just like extra icing on the cake. I just love watching such a beautiful relationship.

When they cook they put love into what they make. That's the secret to any good recipe. It's what makes it real. What makes the food authentic. It's true for everything that you can make really. Like art. It's authentic and people connect with it when it was made with an emotion. Made with love.

When we went to talk to Daniel Kiyoi, the creative director for Tarte (http://tartecosmetics.com/) he said a lot of things I read in some of my business classes. He talked about emotional intelligence, adding value, and creativity with emotions. He said success comes from people. As a manager of others I think that he means his successes come from managing others well. Their success become his successes. On our service day we talked a lot about how you have to serve partially for yourself. You get something out of it. I think that success is that thing. You get success in completing your mission to serve. In order to love others as you love yourself, you must first love yourself. So with success if you treat others' success as your own. Then it's a win-win for everyone. Lately I've felt a little discouraged when it comes to how happy people around me are. It's easy for me to feel down when everyone seems to be so happy and I can't get there. Like I'm missing something. I think instead it should uplift me. If I have the chance to impact the people around me and be a part of their life in some way, and if these people are truly happy, happier than I am, then that's a win. That should be something to celebrate. That should be how I view success.

Sometimes I feel behind. My friends might get incredible jobs or internships. They might get to travel across the world all summer. Meet a celebrity. They might meet the love of their life. Two of them start dating. One of them gets a puppy. They graduate and start "real life". They're thinking of getting married. Or they're just so perfectly content with life at Whitworth. They never appear to be stressed. Classes are fun and they have free time. They don't have constant FOMO. It's like I'm always jealous of other's success. But just because people around me have success doesn't mean I can't. And it doesn't mean I can't view their successes as part of my own. I want to start learning from my community. Learning how to celebrate with them. To be actually happy for people and to stop letting my selfishness get in the way.